An Awkward Situation
by Laserfire
Summary: In which Gazzy gets confused, Fang gets hysterical and blamed, Max gets embarrassed and Angel chomps on a cookie downstairs. And it was all over one stupid fiasco with one of Max's bras. Awkward FAX. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I'm not James Patterson, which means I can't have Fang all to myself!**

***Edited from uploaded version.**

**Okay, so I've been dying for some Fax lately. I was re-reading and I think they're actually the one couple who almost succeed in making me scream in a Fangirlish fashion. (I love you, Fang. I love you sooooo much *holds out hands*.)**

**Summary: In which Gazzy gets confused, Fang gets hysterical and blamed, Max gets embarrassed and Angel chomps on a cookie downstairs. And it was all over one stupid fiasco with one of Max's bras. Set during School's out Forever, as Max prepares for her date (pfft who needs Sam?) when Fax was in and there was NO DYLAN.**

There was really nothing to do when you weren't willing to do homework, Fang guessed, returning to his classic time-waster which was reading the instructions on the Pop-tart box. Boring, if there was something good on television or if someone was in need of a decent punch but incredibly interesting if math homework loomed its ugly head. Fang practically shuddered at the very thought of algebra.

Pushing the breath out of his cheeks, he blinked and turned to where Angel was sitting, cookie in hand. She shot him a smile and held out the cookie in offering.

"Want a bite?" She asked, her voice bored yet chirpy. Fang shook his head but gave her a grateful smile.

"Fang?" She said, after a brief pause.

"Uh-huh?" He said, turning towards her on the kitchen's swivel chair. Angel was seated in front of him, in one of Anne's little, pink arm chairs that sat in the break of the wall between the kitchen and what Anne called the "lounge."

She blinked shyly, and turned her eyes to face his.

"Do you think Max will fall in love with Sam?" Her innocent blue eyes blinked at him again. If Fang had accepted her offer of a bite, Fang was fairly certain he'd be choking.

"Wait...what?"

Angel frowned impatiently.

"Max. Do you think she'll fall in love with Sam?"

For a minute, Fang was sure he wanted to laugh. That wiener? Mr. I-brush-my-hair-once-a-day? Not a chance. He was about to reply with a brief word or two in explanation but found himself wanting to hear what Angel herself had to say.

"Do you want her to?"

"I want Max to be happy. With someone who's honest and handsome and nice and sweet and who'll make her cookies whenever she wants."

If Fang hadn't been talking to a six year old, he might've rolled his eyes.

"Max can make her own cookies."

"Do you want Max to fall in love with you, Fang?" Angel spoke with such simplicity, as though falling in love was like picking up a flower. Unlike someone less sure of themself, who would stutter if such a question was fired at them as bluntly as that, Fang merely swallowed down the truth and put on a facade of obviousness.

"Max loves all of us, Angel."

"You do too. But you two always go off by yourselves. I just wondered if you two were falling in love with each other, like Odette and Prince..."

"Angel," Fang's voice gave away a tone of impatience, "Max and I aren't..."

"Are you two making love to each other when you leave at night?" She asked bluntly again and Fang nearly died of embarrassment, almost flushing, almost choking.

"Jeez Angel! What the hell? Do you even know what that means?"

She pouted slightly at his outburst.

"Well, I know it's what people do if they love each other. Nudge told me that it's special and that the person you do it with has to be special or else it won't work." She finished, looking proud of her intense knowledge.

"Did Nudge tell you anything else?" Fang demanded, eager that a six year old wouldn't be infected with raging teenage hormones just yet. Hell knows that it was difficult enough for Fang without having _that _image in his head, distracting him. Wanting to kiss Max was one thing...

"But making love is another?" Angel finished, reading his mind.

"Stop saying that!" Fang told her, bringing his hands up to his head with embarrassment.

"Are you jealous of Max and Sam falling in love, Fang? Do you think that Sam will want to make love..."

"Jeez Angel, can we stop talking about this? You shouldn't be interested in..._this stuff_." He finished, swallowing back more floods of embarrassment. Of course, he didn't want to let on that what she had said about Sam had unintentionally hit a nerve. What else would the idiot want than to get off with her?

He heard Angel exhale in annoyance at his refusal to answer any of her carefully phrased questions. In the end, she decided that she'd rather finish her cookie.

"Ok, I'll stop. But just so you know Fang, I know Max loves you way more than that...that..." she frowned, as though trying to remember, "what did you call him?"

"A wiener." Fang spoke automatically, but then cursed himself for letting on to a six year old that he did not like this guy. Angel was blunt at most times and she had a habit of clinging to Max's heels. This wouldn't do wonders for his pride if she found out, especially after the incident with Lissa.

Angel looked satisfied with his answer and returned to gorging on her cookie, completely oblivious to Fang's embarrassment.

Of course, with his luck, Fang was not allowed to think about his embarrassment for at least a minute. The very second he had managed to calm himself, without thinking of 'making love to Max', he'd picked up his box and resumed reading. A second later, Gazzy strolled into the kitchen, most likely hunting for one of the cookies Angel had devoured in her boredom. It wasn't anything Gazzy was doing that made Fang stare at him, his mouth threatening to open in disbelief or to burst in hysterical laughter. It was what he was wearing. Right on the top of his head. Red with black pokka dots with the cups hanging down to make a very poor pair of ear muffs.

Needless to say, Gazzy looked pretty pleased with himself.

"Gazzy," Fang swallowed, trying to compose himself, "Why are you wearing one of Anne's bras on your head?"

Gazzy blinked in confusion and turned his eyes up to his head. Then a smile came to his face.

"They're cool, right? But they're not Anne's. I found them in Max's room. They're not actually warm or anything but I think they're more for the fashionable than the others. I like earmuffs."

Fang had paled the second Gazzy had mentioned the fact that he'd found it in Max's room.

"Gazzy," he said, jumping off his seat, suppressing a laugh, "Give me it." He held his hand out expectantly but Gazzy frowned.

"No, I found them! Plus, there are loads in Max's room. There's a black pair that'd look cooler on you." Gazzy had jumped out of Fang's reach as Fang had made a swipe for the bra. He tried to snatch it again, but Gazzy jumped back further, smiling mischievously

"Get your own." He grinned, crossing his arms. Angel, who hadn't been paying attention before this, turned to her brother and frowned again, looking vaguely confused. The last thing Fang wanted was for him to be stuck answering Angel's awkward questions again. As Gazzy turned to ask his little sister about what she thought of his new accessory, Fang lunged, gripping Gazzy around the stomach with one arm and lifting him off the ground, so his body was horizontal to the floor. As Gazzy shouted and struggled, Fang whispered instructions to him rapidly.

"Under pain of death, Gazzy, do not mention this to Max. Or anyone."

Gazzy continued to struggle, wriggling in Fang's grasp. Fang held on tightly, moving towards the stairs.

"But why? I mean, she has loads of other pairs upstairs! There's even a frilly pink pair that I was going to bring down for Angel but I thought I'd show you guys first!" He kept protesting until they reached Max's door. Gazzy had snuck into her room as she was in the shower and Fang knew that if it was offered, Max did enjoy her marathon showers. There was a decent enough chance that she'd still be in there, which would give him a chance to dispose of the evidence. But even if Max was in there, it wasn't as though Fang was the one wearing one of her bras on his head.

He exhaled and put Gazzy down, pushing him through the door first. Gazzy was being moody, folding his arms and muttering about how it was so unfair. Normally, Fang would've gone to a small amount of effort to reason with him but after his conversation with Angel, Fang was feeling too awkward to even explain to Gazzy what it really was.

Gazzy hunched down and reached underneath Max's bed. After about three seconds of hunting blindly underneath, his hand emerged with a bag. He looked smugly at Fang, as though the issue had been resolved and he had been right.

"Look, told you there was a ton of them!"

He opened the bag and wiggled it in front of Fang's eyes, still remaining smug. Instead of succumbing to his curiosity, Fang swiped the bag from Gazzy's grasp onto the ground.

"Come here." Fang said patiently, as Gazzy held the bra tightly onto his head.

"Why?" Gazzy demanded for the fiftieth time that day. Fang swallowed and pulled the bra off Gazzy's head. Fortunately, Gazzy hadn't closed it fully which Fang imagined must've been difficult enough to open. He quickly stuffed it into the bag, among all of the others and, out of decency to Max, tried to avert his eyes. Emphasis on tried.

"See," Gazzy continued, "look at them all!" He stuffed his small hand inside and drew out a batch of them.

"Christ, Gazzy! Just leave it alone, okay? Don't mention this to anyone! Especially not Max!"

Fang pulled Gazzy down to the ground with him to help him put them all back in the bag but Gazzy rose again, folding his arms and leaning against the bedroom wall. Fang swore, knowing that this would be an awkward sight to come in on, and tried to put them in the bag as quickly as possible. He held the last one in his hand, ready to stuff it among the others and place the bag where Gazzy had found it, when Gazzy suddenly ducked his head down, averting his eyes. There was a shout of indignation and surprise behind Fang, and he turned, bra in hand, greeted by a sight that had indeed come into his mind earlier that day.

Max, stood mouth gaping open, naked but for a tiny towel that was covering her shoulders. She drew the towel rapidly around her chest and grabbed a bathrobe from her bed. Fang shouted something like "Christ on a bike!" and turned his eyes down. Gazzy was suppressing laughter and Fang could've happily wrung his neck.

"You can look now!" Max shouted, still unnerved. Then her line of vision went down to what was in Fang's hand.

"What the hell are you..."

"Why is everyone shouting?" Angel spoke softly from the doorway. She entered slowly and stared at the sight around her; Max staring at Fang who was on his knees, holding one of her bras. And Gazzy who was in the corner and who was most certainly not making the situation any better.

"Um." Fang muttered, placing the remaining bra in the bag, and passed the bag over to Max. They were both red from embarrassment.

Angel smiled sweetly, knowing that an intervention from her would most likely make everything better.

"Come on, Gazzy," she spoke wisely and pointed for Gazzy to leave. Gazzy stalked out, utterly confused. Angel smiled before following her brother out. Gazzy was waiting at the door for her. As Fang and Max looked at one another, preparing for outbursts, Angel turned back but addressed Gazzy.

"Come on," she repeated, "Fang wants his private time with Max. I think he wants to make love with her before Sam can."

Two jaws dropped, one jaw was set, and one smiled sweetly as though she had solved everything in the world.

**Just an awkward one-shot in which you really could've just read the summary but thank you for reading this far if you did :D**

**FAX BETTER HAPPEN. OR I'LL SCREAM AND STAB SOMETHING.**

**Please review *Nudge's Bambi eyes***


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